


Better than me

by SerialKillerQueen



Series: Difficult Girl(s) [5]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: (Alluded to racism), Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Apologies, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderswap, Guilt, Period-Typical Sexism, Racism, Self-Esteem Issues, do not copy to another site, unbeta'd we die like mne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 03:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20499962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerialKillerQueen/pseuds/SerialKillerQueen
Summary: Billie has to admit why she had a problem with Luca.





	Better than me

**Author's Note:**

> Stranger Things and its characters do not belong to me. All rights go to their respective owners.

Luca is eyeing her mistrustfully from across the table.

Billie can't say she doesn't understand that, but it's still not the most comfortable position to be in.

Granted, despite she and her shithead little brother being... amicable with each other, it was a close second in terms of discomfort when she had to ask him to see if Luca would be willing to speak to her.

(Or maybe the most uncomfortable position to be in is being Stephanie's friend when there's this constant unspoken tension between them over this particular girl, over the fact she hurt one of Steph's kids. She's honestly amazed she decided to become friends with her irregardless).

Max had somehow talked Luca into meeting her in a local diner (it's a shit hole diner but that fits with the rest of the town), and on the condition that he's sitting at a nearby booth.

She can admit the level of fear Luca has towards her... doesn't sit well with her, she's a kid and Billie should've been... well she was close enough to an adult that she should've been the adult in the situation.

"Why did you tell Max to... avoid certain types of people? People like me."

Of course Luca breaks the silence first, she kind of expected that, and of course Max had told her exactly what she'd said about her.

And _of course_ she's made assumptions, she knows how the whole thing reads, apparently Stephanie isn't the only one who can put her foot in her mouth.

"I... When I picked up Max after I saw him with you I could tell he was upset because of whatever you said. I figured you were someone he shouldn't be around."

She's not lying. She hated - she _hates_ the little shit, but he is her responsibility. Her _family._

But it's not the entire truth.

The rest of the truth is that as soon as she'd seen Luca she couldn't help but be bitter.

She'd seen her when she dropped Max off at one point, her father had brought her to school (at least she felt safe in assuming the man driving the little girl to school was her father) and she'd seen her lean over and kiss his cheek, climb out of the car, her pretty braids bouncing around. And she'd been so... jealous.

She would never have dared kiss Neil's cheek, he would never have bothered to take her to school. And of course Luca with her pretty hair and pretty clothes wouldn't hear people sneering about her not looking like a girl should. (Luca probably dealt with people saying other things about her, it's a small town after all, but she hadn't been able to acknowledge that at the time).

When she'd seen how upset Max had been it had almost been a relief, because she could tell herself that meant Luca wasn't also...

Wasn't also a better girl than she was. A better _person_ than she was.

The fact that Luca was here now proved that her fear had been correct. She _is_ a better person.

She wouldn't agree to meet someone who'd slapped her. (She can't believe that some times, can't believe she let herself hit a _child_ like that. She almost feels worse about it than about what she did to Stephanie and what she'd spent _years_ doing to Max).

She's not going to tell Luca all of that, it's to raw, might sound to much like an excuse. But she will tell her some of it, and she'll say she's sorry, because she is and she should've said that before now.

"And... I... I was jealous. Of you."

By the time she leaves with Max in tow, Luca's agreed to give her a chance.

It's not forgiveness, not yet, but it's probably more than she deserves from her.

**Author's Note:**

> Oof this one got wordy didn't it? And I'm going to disclaimer because I'd like to not get attacked by anyone. I'm not necessarily saying Billy didn't have internalized prejudice in canon, BUT Dacre Montgomery's take on it is much preferred to me, and honestly I trust him way more than the Duffers at this point. I based pretty much all of Billie's thought process on quotes from the following article https://www.buzzfeed.com/keelyflaherty/everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-new-stranger-things?origin=btm-fd 
> 
> These quotes specifically  
'"I don't think it’s this racist thing that’s appeared with Caleb’s character. It’s about being emasculated. I think [Billy's] so afraid of being emasculated, it doesn't matter that Caleb is black or younger, I think he’s insecure. That’s his own insecurity he’s targeting on Caleb’s character. I think his wires are all getting crossed — he’s threatened, I think." —DM'
> 
> '"I think Billy really does care about his sister. And I know there’s the impetus from his dad and stepmother to keep her safe, but he wouldn't be following up or doing any of that stuff if he didn’t." —DM'
> 
> Obviously I tweaked some of it due to this being a genderswap but I tried to keep the same vibe!
> 
> Here's the mycast to use as reference for faceclaims!  
https://www.mycast.io/stories/p/mLM9vESd2bfJh7lY0s6o5g
> 
> I've churned out several fics lately and I hope you guys enjoy because I won't be making any for the next several days!


End file.
